....

I don’t understand how I got here. I don’t even understand the whole process which turned me into this. Yes there is someone out there screaming his lungs out saying “I love you” and I look at him with disbelief. Aren’t these three words what make us live life? Or at least used to. No I am not afraid to be happy or love and be loved in return. This is what we live for; this is the moment we all wait for. And yet when the moment comes knocking at our door, we turn away doubting it, suspecting it to be one of the many games the universe plays with us. We wait and wait for something to happen which will prove our doubts correct only to find in the end, they were wrong. We waste our time doubting doubts instead of living the chance life is giving to us right now at this very moment. I don’t know the reason which created this wall in front of me, I feel like I am turning into my worst nightmare and it is not a good feeling.
Why is it so hard for me to trust my instincts and beliefs? Why do I doubt my own certainty? I’ve lived so long for this moment to love and be loved in return and it’s out there screaming, claiming its hold and the only thing I am doing is holding back.